Lying in the Sun

Burglar & the Barrister

Burglar & the Barrister



“I was able to be a bit more specific than just the island but I haven’t been able to tell them exactly where the man said she was

                                                                        The Bubbling Barrister


I think this barrister should be more careful the company he keeps!


Might find himself  in a compromising situation...!     Oops too late!  (Loud Laughter)


Well it had to come didn’t it? – Before every TV appearance by McCanns – there has to be one – a sighting!    Would be like Christmas without the baby Jesus in the crib if we didn’t!


Manchester Police and the Metropolitan Police have of course taken the barrister ‘seriously’ – because…well…because he is a barrister, a bubbling barrister (my Scots granny assures me ‘to bubble’ means to cry!   (Tiny Tears McCann, will be able to confirm or otherwise)  And, because he is a barrister, he is credible, a pillar of the community (who just happens to party with burglars, or their colleagues.  Are we allowed to describe the criminal element as having ‘colleagues?)


But please be assured one and all, the Manchester Police, and the Metropolitan police are on the job – This ‘confession’ at the dodgy party (back in August 2013) which the barrister attended, ooh err – bet there was lots of cling film…got to keep the food fresh…is now receiving urgent attention!


A, Pillar of the community?


Would that be, say, like a doctor, the McCanns for instance, or a Metropolitan Police Officer, like Andy Redwood? 


Please don’t cry Mr Pillar of the Community – Even though you didn’t report this sensational information to police until next day, after the party (I guess all those little treats and nibbles in the cling film too good to miss) and you haven’t been able to tell the police where exactly this man told you the child was – don’t be fretting over it – We all know as a pillar of the community, a barrister no less you will have been able to tell the police EXACTLY where to find the man?   Back at your place perhaps…no only teasing you…His place?  A, pillow talk confession? 


Thing is Mr Mystery Man Pillar of the Community, Barrister – you are quoted as having said: -


1.     “I have told the police ­everything that I was told about her.



2.    “I haven’t been able to tell the police exactly where the man said she was”


Both statements cannot be true!


But that’s fine, no more tears now…the good thing is your ‘new friend’ from the party did tell you where she was (else you would not have been able to make the above statement (statement number 2) – sorry if this seems like a cross examination) the cops, Andy Redwood (okay to call him a cop?) can arrange a cognitive interview which should do the trick, and hopefully jog your memory - no need to explain the technique to you eh?  (maybe they could arrange for the tapas bunch to have cognitive interview too?)


There is hypnosis, but I’m not so sure you would want to go down that road…you know… the party, your new friend…Never know what might be revealed…

And do remember, you are not alone – there was another witness in Spain, we never got to know who he was either – same kind of problem as you – cheating on his wife, didn’t  want his name in papers – well maybe not exactly same as you…but you get the drift…we’ve heard it all before...


Not acting with haste and immediately contacting police (and no excuses now, you know the number) may make you feel a lesser man (sorry bad choice of words) less of a pillar of the community, but I guess you were thinking – ‘what’s another day in the life of Madeleine McCann’ not as though she’s with the paedophiles any more…she’s with the burglar and his mates, on a sun kissed  Mediterranean island.


The Manchester Police are only now set to prepare a file for the Metropolitan Police, so you are not the only party to have dragged their heels over this crucial information…


Did your new friend happen to mention if Madeleine struck up a conversation with him when they ‘met?’   Was it at a party?


Now if the Mirror have not quoted you correctly you can sue – and Gerry and Kate will I’m sure be able to give you advice a few tips, point you in the direction of a good lawyer – little lady they use, she has some connections in the UK, reduced rates as you are now in with the ‘in crowd’ – Lordy, Lordy – silly me, you are a lawyer – what was I thinking of?


This legal stuff, all a bit above my head, but I’ve been thinking of late that the Metropolitan Police are not all they’re cracked up to be…Been thinking about contacting Cameron – just to ask if he is sure he has chosen the right man for the job – Andy the Onion Peeler, with every layer he has a different tale to tell – I was wondering if the situation requires someone more like the ‘Child Catcher’  ‘There are children here somewhere.  I can smell them’   It could be worth Cameron’s consideration, as much chance of the Child Catcher finding Madeleine as there is Scotland Yard.

I think the public have lost all faith in Andy and will soon have his -  teeth for a necklace and his eyes for earrings – Well you just cannot trust a man who makes up stories in a land where lies about missing children are forbidden!


And speaking of lies – Dr Goncalo Amaral’s book Maddie - The Truth of the Lie – the libel trial has certainly got them rattled.   Spinning like tops!   Pillars of the community will be popping up all over the place before Crimewatch with McCanns hits our screens!


The McCanns we know think little of the Portuguese people (despite Kate McCann’s ‘the majority of people in Portugal are inherently good people’ remark)

show scant regard for their legal system, and little regard too it seems for the Judge conducting the libel trial, but when Cameron and the Metropolitan police jump on the bandwagon and display much of the same, all of them having little consideration also for the public, the  little kids and old ladies who gave their pocket money and their pensions to help Madeleine  who have donated to the Fund (not only in the UK) and the UK taxpayer also and expect all to accept that throwing £m’s of other people’s money at reputation management for the McCanns is a proper course of action – is disgraceful.


Unless Redwood and his team are playing some extremely elaborate game with the MCanns, luring them into a false sense of security – we are all then being taken for a ride and a very costly one!


At the end of it all – the McCanns legal action against Dr Goncalo Amaral and the Crimewatch programme the heaps of silly headlines created for the purpose of protecting the McCanns – Madeleine will still be missing!


They will have done nothing for this child.  All they will have achieved is to harm Sean and Amelie.

No amount of money in the world will discover what became of Madeleine –  Money is not the answer- the truth is – but try convincing the McCanns of that!

6th October 2013

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